When I was in primary school, I love to make my hair, but for some reasons, my mother refuse to make my hair, even though my sisters were making their hair, I wasn’t really happy about that……..
Each time I raise a conversation about making my hair, she says, you are just too picky, it would be difficult to please you when it comes to hairstyles and also your hair texture wasn’t too good. For me, I always felt she didn’t love me enough especially when she would finish making my sister’s hair with beautiful and colorful ribbons of all kinds. I used to admire it greatly.
She is so good at it that everyone in the neighborhood will admire their hair and tell them how beautiful they are.This happened all through primary till ss1 until the God of miracle touched her . One day she called me and said, do you want to me to make your hair? I said YES and she asked again are you sure and ready, I replied with a resounding YES!
So we started making the hair and I became very happy again even though every Sunday evening we always fight because she never got the hairstyles I was asked to make in school. In fact, at some point she became tired of me that I choose complicated styles THEN she started paying someone else to make the hair for me.
The thing is, those times she wasn’t making my hair; I assumed she didn’t love me? Was she doing other things for me? Yes of course, but there was still a vacuum her show of love could not fill.
To my dearest intentional parents, how is your child reacting to your actions or attitude towards her, you might be doing things and thinking is right or maybe doing your very best for your child but how is she interpreting it? Are you meeting her THREE basic psychological needs such as need for relatedness, competence and autonomy?
Is it affecting her positively or negatively?
Intentional parenting is about meeting your child’s emotional needs, it is about understanding their temperament, their love language, and it is about knowing their likes and dislikes. It is about putting her interest first. It is about their happiness.
You may be flying her on a first class trip all over the world, buying all the designers in the world, if you like, enroll her in all the extracurricular activities , put her in the best school and make all the sacrifices yet she’s not happy. Therefore, always make your child happy and feel loved in all you do because it is not about you but your CHILD.
