Few weeks ago, I went for swimming with my daughter, we have never gone with lunch box but always use the zip bag to pack our snacks and we have always been cool with it until this particular day, we sat at the reception as usual for snacks after the swimming with her friends but for some reasons she started crying, are you ok I asked? What’s the matter and how are you feeling? She responded sad and said where my lunch box is? I replied we didn’t come with it , we left it at home.
She started her tantrum and it was such a busy place. I said to her let’s go to the garden and talk, I carried her. Going down to her level I asked same question and she said same. So I said, is it because you saw your friend’s lunch box? She has always come with it. I asked her, have we ever come with ours? She said no. I asked again do you want us to be coming with ours. She said yes. So I said ok next week we’ll come with your lunch box is that ok? She said OK.
I wiped her tears, cuddled her and told her how beautiful and special she is to me and twinkled her before she started laughing and we laughed together. The next thing I heard was “mummy I am happy now”. I said good, that’s what mummy wants and went back to our table happily, she finished her snacks before we left.
The following week, I asked her to get her lunch box for snacks, she replied “we don’t need it” since then it’s never been an issue again. Children will always be children. I could have embarrassed and labeled her copy, copy, long throat when she started her drama and say all sorts of things to her right there but I didn’t do that, I ensured I understand how she was feeling first and what made her feel that way before addressing it. Dear intentional parent empathy is one the skills you need to parent otherwise; you will make a mess of your parenting.
