What Does It Actually Mean to Spoil a Child

Sometimes, I usually get this talk from parents saying Dumebi! I honestly don’t want to spoil my child, and I ask, what do you mean? They start by saying, I think I’m hugging, cuddling, kissing, telling my child I love her all the time too much, and I don’t want it to get to her head and spoil her.

One parents in particular said I want to cuddle less, hug less and say I love you less after all my parents never ever said I love you to me when I was growing up and I’m honestly fine as an adult now. She ended by saying, ‘’I want to say it with moderation’’.

I ask, do you think that will help your child?

Let me burst your bubble by letting you know that there’s no amount of love, cuddles, hugs, and kisses you give to your child that will be too much. These things don’t spoil a child. To be honest with you, they help you fill your child’s love tank and also satisfy your child’s need for love and be loved unconditionally.

The truth is, when this need is not met in your child, your child will show attention seeking behaviors’ in many forms. Starting your child’s day with I love you, hugs, kisses will definitely make them have a lovely day unlike if you do the opposite.

Here’s What Actually Spoil a Child,

 The rules, boundaries, principles, structures, systems that you fail to put in place in your home. When children don’t know what is expected of them, they behave the way they want, this is what spoils a child. The lollipops, sweets, chocolates, the chewing gums you give to them on daily bases at school pick up is what spoils a child.

When you let your child get what he wants whenever he wants it, is what spoils a child. Giving your child too much power/free will without you realizing that you are the one in charge, is what spoils your child. When you don’t assign age-appropriate task to your child and even when you try to do so, you use bribery to get you child do what you have asked for is what spoils a child. When you make your child happy and content at all times is what spoils a child.

Dear intentional parents, I encourage you to think it through and see if there’s any way you feel you’re spoiling your child and make amend. I also encourage you to continue to shower your child with loads of love, cuddles, and hugs it can never be overdose, let your child enjoy that parenting advantage and remember your job is not to make your child happy at all times.