The question was asked by a 10-years- old girl and the mother isn’t too sure as to how to answer her curious daughter.
This is what I usually say that every question a child asks is a good question, there’s nothing like a bad question because this helps you understand what’s going on in your child’s mind. It is even good for them to ask even the ones you claim are ‘’stupid’’ this will help you with what your child knows.
Also I encourage parents to always stay calm, think through the question your child has asked and be sure you have the right answers before answering your child’s question. If you don’t have an answer for your child at that moment, I suggest you say to your child, Okay I get your question, can we create a special time to discuss it? Again it still doesn’t have to be that day or that minute as long as it isn’t an emergency, informing your child and ensuring you keep to the day and time you both agree on, is absolutely fine.
First, I suggest you say to your child ‘’oh! Good question’’ or ‘’are you getting married? Using a good tone of voice, body, facial expression, even make a joke out of it just to make your child feel comfortable. Also ask her; marriage! ‘’ where did you hear it’’. It could be that she’s watched it on TV, heard it from friends or maybe it was a topic in class.
Again ask her what she understands by marriage. This will give you a clearer picture of her understanding in this subject matter. Seize it as a teachable moment to teach the beauty of marriage and its importance.
Emphasize on choosing the right partner and how the partner you choose can ruin or make you. Let her know that it is the most important decision she will ever make in her life, meaning she has to choose right and wise. Do research together with her about people who chose the right partner, how it made them flourish in life using the scripture that says two are better than one, share if you have any personal experience or people you know also share to her people that choose wrongly, how it destroyed their lives and it cost some their lives.
It’s a moment to teach her that everybody has their own unique destiny and as such, there are some that will marry early, some late and that whichever way, that the most important thing is choosing the right person. Use this opportunity to let her know why marrying someone who has the fear of God is important.
Emphasize that there are some who want to achieve everything in life before getting married especially women and how it leads to late marriage and some end up not even getting married at all. Talk about women’s window opportunities. That is the time where men will be seeking your hand in marriage also, in conception and that opportunity closes for women unlike men that can marry and give birth at any time. Remember to share your personal experiences or mistakes, lessons learnt if any. These are what will help your child during her decision making time.
Dear intentional parents, I encourage you not to make this conversation too serious, relax with a cup of tea if possible, remember that the key point here is helping your child understand the importance of right choices and how she can carry herself with dignity, honor and respect to attract the right person. Let her know that marriage is a beautiful thing created and ordained by God and trust your child to be able put all the values, teaching into place when the time comes and encourage her to focus on her studies and whatever it is that she likes, she should give her best because is in the doing that she will find and meet the right partner for herself.
