I was privileged to spend some time with a family member after church on sunday. It happened that her 5-years-old daughter was having a photoshoot, she invited me to give moral support to the child. The photographer was very punctual and had to wait for a little while for the girl to get dress. Her hair, dress, shoe was top notch and age-appropriate by the time she was ready.
I was a little bit uncomfortable with the photographer when he started taking photos, because he was too controlling of the little girl, he was literally telling her what to do, what not to do, how to pose which I did not have problem with until when he started telling her to pose in a certain way, blink your eyes, raise your hand, sit down and all.
Honestly, it was obvious that the postures were too much for the little girl and she was not comfortable because it appears like you are taking away a sense of autonomy and creativity, couple with the fact that the little girl was tired, she just came back from church and boom, dressing and the next thing is photoshoot.
I understand the fact that he’s supposed to show or tell the girl how to pose so that the photo can come out really beautiful and nice and probably to sell his work or build his portfolio, but again where is the place of consideration that she is a child, where’s the place of a child just doing whatever she likes and, in the process, you capture as many as you can, at some point, I had to come in and say to him, please, can you let this child do whatever she wants to do? Let her be herself and let’s see how the pictures will turn out.
So, I went close to the girl and said, I can see you’re not comfortable and you’re not being yourself, can you pose the way you want, dance the way you want and just do what you want? Honestly, the little girl became very comfortable, happy and the pictures were so beautiful.
Dear parents and caregivers, I admonish you to always put your child’s needs and interest first in anything you do, consider your child’s happiness and ask yourself, this step I am about to take, is it worth my child’s stress, tears, pain? Is it a need or a want for my child? Will this be of any benefit to my child? If you can objectively and critically answer these questions, you would be able to make a profound decision.
Are you aware that the photographer telling the child how to pose, stand, sit, and walk is taking the child’s needs for “I want to be the source of my actions” The child may completely lost her ability to take decisions and choices. I encourage parents and caregivers to nurture these needs by letting the child stand, sit, turn, the way she wants. Let her pose however she wants, she’s only a child.
Also, telling her to stand like this, stand like that, you’re taking her creativity away from her. We want our children to be inventors and think outside the box right? When you continuously tell a child do this, do that, it may cause a child to become a mediocre and she may grow up to become: “Janet come here, yes sir! Janet sits down, yes sir!, Janet stands up, yes sir!.’’ Janet grows up and lacks the ability to take decision for herself, she lacks the ability to navigate through life, she lacks the ability to troubleshoot and overcome life challenges, she would become an adult who can’t question authority. She would seek people’s validation to do whatever she wants to do in life because she was raised that way.
In conclusion, I understand that most of the time, parents mean well for their children and the children in their lives, but most of the time, their actions do not align with their intensions which at the end of the day leads to them doing certain things that may not turn out well for their children. Allow your children to make choices and decisions as long as they’re within boundaries. Let them enjoy their childhood because it goes so quickly. I believe you don’t want to raise a child who would not be happy with you for not giving them the room to enjoy their childhood. I have handled several cases on this so believe me when i say so. Do have an amazing season.
