It is one thing to say I love my child, it’s another thing to understand how to communicate the love to your child in other for him/her to feel loved says Dr. Chapman. He also states that every human including children expresses and experience love in the same way, but there’s one that’s most important to us. According to him, there are five love languages namely;
Quality time
Your child will express this kind of love when they want you to spend time with them. There’re some children who have a higher need for quality time, for them, your gifts, money, luxury life means nothing to them but your daily mapping out a specific time with your undivided attention with them alone is all that matters to them. Your child just wants you to roll on the floor with them, some wants to go for a walk with you, some wants to tell you how their friend made them sad or did not play with them at school. For my son, he wants you to spend time with him by reading a story book or singing together with him.
Physical Touch
For some children, physical touch communicate love to them more than the other love languages. For them, sitting on your special lap while you read them a story means so much to them. Holding their hands while going for a walk is more precious to them than the Christmas gifts you gave them. A pat on their shoulder, a kiss, hug, cuddles, high fives is all they want from you. They just want to feel your love.
Receiving Gifts
For children who have this as their primary love language, any gift you give to them is a sign that you love them, meaning if you don’t give them gifts, sadly, you don’t love them.
The truth is, you do not have to buy expensive gifts or give gifts every now and then. lt’s about you understanding that your child would prefer your special gift to a hug, kiss or your high five. Again, your gift doesn’t necessarily have to be tangible, sometimes, creating a beautiful experience that’s as simple as “we’ll do shopping together on Saturday, I will take you to the park later today’’ can also serve as special gift to them.
Act of Service
These set of children love to be helped and they express it when they say things like, Mummy or daddy, can you please help me tie my hair? can you help me with my homework? can you help me wash my clothes? can you help me put my toys away? Dear parents, this does not mean you’ll help your child do all task assigned to them and at the same time, leaving you to feel like you’re their servant which obviously you’re not. Please, by all means encourage independence, leave them to do age-appropriate things they can do for themselves at every point in time.
Words of affirmation
Children whose primary love language is words of affirmation, feel loved through words of affection, praise, compliments, encouragements and appreciations. Say things like, your hair looks beautiful, I love the different colors you used to color the fish, I like how you sat really nicely at the restaurant, well-done! Or say to your child, I love you because you’re my baby girl or boy. Say these things, and see how you’ll become the best mummy or daddy in the world.
Understanding your child’s love languages is way of helping your child feel loved, while it is important to know your child’s primary love language, it is also important to relate with them using the other love languages. Use this season to speak your child’s love language and see for yourself the transformation in your relationship with your child.
