I was addressing some group of parents just before Christmas and I gave seven parents an opportunity to talk about their parenting journey, you won’t believe that five parents out of seven were in tears which left me and a few others in tears. It was the most emotional section I have ever had since I started my career as a parenting expert. Some parents aren’t finding it funny with their parenting. It looks tough for them.
The truth is, some of these parents have young adults’ children, preteens, and even toddlers. This is not about them being a bad parent nor their children being bad children, but it’s about understanding your child’s developmental stage per-time so as to know what to expect and how to support your child all through the stage. It’s about parents knowing what to do from the start. It is about parents being able to manage their emotions.
However, I completely understand that parenting is hard work and I also agree that there’s no perfect parents anywhere in the world, but there’s a template for parenting. Every stage of a child’s development requires knowledge and this helps parents understand the expected behaviour of a child.
Let’s say for example, understanding a child from 0-3-years-old, at this stage your child is learning trust and security. What does this mean for a child? It simply means that when I cry for a need, I expect my mummy, daddy or my caregiver to respond to me without any form of delay because this is how I satisfy my need for love, respect, need to be seen and heard etc. it then means that my mum, daddy or caregiver carrying me whenever I’m crying can never be too much, hold me and let me feel you and build attachment with you is all I ask. Ignoring me when I need you the most or you come to me and say things like, why are my crying? you cry too much will make me have less trust for you and people around me when I grow up because those I wanted to build trust with were not there for me as a child.
This is also the stage a child wants to know what’s going on in his environment. I want to explore, I want to learn, I want to be in charge of my choices and decisions. Did you know that it’s your job as parents to nurture these needs in a child in order to give your child a balance start in life.
Understanding your child’s early stages and supporting them the right way until they become an adult is all that’s expected of you and for you to achieve this great result without being weary about it, you need knowledge.
Dear intentional parents, please, don’t leave your parenting to chance. I know we all love our children, but seek knowledge so as not to unconsciously love your child to destruction.
