It was her dad who was meant to pick her up from school yesterday, the 27th of February 2024. Seeing me, she was a little bit disappointed and asked, “Where’s my daddy?”
I responded “Oh! Your daddy is at work.”
Next, she asked, “Why?”
So, I said, “I know you were expecting your daddy to pick you up after school today, right? And you are disappointed that he is not picking you up and he did not pre-inform you?”
I continued, “I understand how you feel, Oma, , looking straight into her eyes with my hand around her shoulder, l said, honestly if I were in your shoes, I will feel the same.”
I asked her, “Can I hold your hand?” Without any response, she stretched her hand towards me, I held her and asked, “Oma, tell me what would you do to your daddy if he was the one who picked you up?”
“I’ll give him a hug,” she said.
“What would you tell him?” I inquired.
She said, “I’ll tell him; I made my friends laugh.”
I added, “While telling him, are you going to be smiling, laughing or angry?”
“I will be smiling,” she said.
“Are you going to use your loud voice or the tiny voice?” I asked.
“I’ll use my loud voice,” she responded.
I asked again, “What else will you tell him?”
“I will tell him that I did phonics today, and I will tell him that I want to follow him to pick Golden up from the nursery,” she exclaimed.
While she was telling me everything she will do or tell her dad, I noticed her expression changed: she became very happy sharing it all with me like it was happening and real.
So, here is the thing: when she saw her mum instead of her dad, she felt disappointed. Her feelings were very valid and normal for a four and half-year-old child, and I could have gone ahead to explain why daddy needs to work (to get paid, to pay bills and take her for a holiday and buy her those beautiful things she always desire), or I could say things like: “You should be grateful that I’m here to pick you up; what if nobody was here to pick you up and you were left here all by yourself? You had better be thankful you have a mother to pick you up.”
Instead, I chose to let her imagine her desire to see her dad. I chose to let her have the experience of imagining her dad picking her up which indeed satisfied her. This in turn helped me put her tantrum to the minimum; otherwise, it could have been a complete meltdown.
Dear parents, parenting is beautiful and very fulfilling if we are equipped with the knowledge and the skills required to parent our children at every stage of their development. Having wisdom to know what to do per time puts us and them in a state of calm.
