Usually, Fridays are my shopping days, and it happens that my son also does not go to nursery on Fridays, so shopping is an activity we engage in together. However, I had family friends visiting which meant I could leave him with them and go shopping alone to save time.
When I said to him, “Golden, get your shoes; it is time to go shopping.” My guest advised I leave him behind, which honestly, I did not have a problem with. However, I replied, “Oh, it is actually a routine for him to go shopping with me.”
He said, “It will save you time and stress; I do not take my children for shopping. I tried it a couple of times and it turned out to be regretful.”
So, I asked, “How then do you go shopping without them?”
He responded, “I work it out with my wife; it is either she is home with the children while I do the shopping, or it is the other way around. My youngest is a two-year-old; just imagine taking all four of my children to the shop. The reason we made the decision to go alone to the shop was because of our last experience.”
I then asked, “Please, can you tell me about it?”
He replied, “My two-year-old was pulling and taking everything off the shelves while we could not find my eldest: he was busy doing something else in the shop. Another child took a shopping basket and was picking items of his choice into the basket while the other was rolling on the floor because he wanted a cake and I said no. Honestly, it was a nightmare.”
While I empathize with him, I would still encourage him to take them along whenever they go shopping. I suggest, instead of taking all the children at the same time, he could go with one or two of his children and have them rotate it subsequently, so he is able to manage them and enjoy his shopping. In addition, if possible, they could make a rota for it, so the children know when it is their turn to go shopping with either mummy or daddy.
Children learn naturally from what they see us do as parents; they learn from real life experiences. When children are not involved in what their parents do e.g., shopping, going to the bank, filling your fuel tank, going to the laundry, and doing house chores together; they might wonder in their minds what real life looks like. For example, how does it feel to go to the bank (sight and sounds), what does my mummy or daddy do in the shop?
The truth is, as parents the more we expose our children to the real world, the better understanding they will have and the more they will feel safer and more comfortable in their environment. I will encourage you to get your children involved in what you do. I completely understand it takes longer when they go shopping with you, your house gets messier when they are involved in household chores, they waste things like water or soap, and it is so much easier to give them a device so you do what you’ve got to do in peace, isn’t it?
Remember, the more we get them into the real world, the more they’ll learn, the more we build connection with them and the more we will satisfy their three basic psychological needs, which is: the need for relatedness, the need for competence and the need for autonomy.
I’ll encourage you to give your child today the gift of real-life experiences with your day-to-day activities.
