I was with a friend yesterday evening at children’s center, while all the children were playing, another child of about 6-years of age walked in with a very big and colourful dinosaur toy. This obviously caught the attention of the children and they all ran to feel the dinosaur toy. This child was not ready to share but allowed the children to feel his dinosaur and told them all about his special dinosaur. While I was in my corner observing what was going on, I noticed one of the children asking him to share but he refused. So, they all ran out to continue their play.
After a few minutes, the same child that had earlier asked for the dinosaur came back to ask the owner of the dinosaur if he could have it. He kindly handed the dinosaur to him and immediately went to another corner to play with the dinosaur. With what I saw in him I could tell he was a lover of dinosaurs. He was so obsessed with it. While the rightful owner was at some point not sure as to whether to go get his dinosaur back or not. But you can tell he was not very happy that his dinosaur was not with him.
After a while, he angrily came to where we were sitting with his mum and said: “mum, can you get my dinosaur back? That boy has taken it and he does not want to give it back to me”. The mum who has observed everything that happened said to him: “have you told him you want your dinosaur back? He said no so, so she said: ” you go and tell him you want your dinosaur back”.
When it comes to problems, we all have problems including our children and being able to tell whether a problem is your problem or your child is your first step to solving that problem.
For me, this was a great opportunity to teach the child how to problem-solve and not solve the problem for the child. Problem-solving for a child is about critical thinking, creativity and good decision-making skills. It is one of the skills children need to thrive.
In this case, it is obvious that the problem is for the child not the mum because it has to do with a child and another child. Apparently, any conflict between a child and another is the child’s problem. Remember it is not our role to solve our children’s problem but our role is to teach them how to solve their problems. Because we can’t solve all their problems for them and considering the fact that we aren’t going to be with them at all times.
Children become successful, independent and confident when they’re able to solve their own problems. Again, confidence doesn’t come by telling your child to sit down, I’m going to teach you about confidence just like you sit your child down to teach phonics. Rather, it comes from competence, that is, in doing things. The more your child becomes competent in what they do, the more confident they’ll be. So, is important for your child to know how to problem-solve when they meet challenges because it will surely come just like we adults encounter one on our day-to-day lives and also, see it as an opportunity for your child to learn.
