Hmm! Oma you’re so beautiful. Oma, do you know you’re a very beautiful girl? See your skin, your eyes, your eye brow etc. You’re just too beautiful. All of these she said in less than a minute. She was saying it at the same time, touching, looking and admiring her. She’s a family friend that we bumped into on Sunday afternoon. Anytime she sees Oma, there’s literally no other thing she says to her other than her beauty. She always reminds me of labelling a child. I’m I saying is wrong for her to admire her? Oh! No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just feel the emphasis on her physical beauty is too much especially when i know that she’s got other inward beautiful qualities in her that she’s never noticed or pay attention to, her focus is only on her outward look and appearance.
This led me to draw her attention to a young lady that most people considered “very beautiful”, people around her right from when she was a baby called her beauty child, princess, you’re so pretty, this got into her, She was not ready to do anything meaningful with her life other than her beauty, She was ready to spend any amount of money on her skin, clothes and anything she feels will make her look good physically, Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying what she was doing was wrong, I’m only concerned that other aspects of her life such as intellectual development, character building were not of importance to her and her desperation for this got her into trouble at the end of the day.
For me, I know my child is outwardly beautiful, but I don’t want her to grow up with the notion that life revolves around her looks, physical appearance when she’s supposed to be spending time and effort in her education and personal growth. The truth is, every child is beautiful, smart, and has the potential to become who they’re truly designed to be with the right support. I know the negative effects of labelling a child so, if all my child hears is you’re beautiful, she’ll start living it, this will form her identity.
Another point to note is; what about other qualities that she possesses such as being kind to people around her, trying new things, waiting for her turns, sharing her toys, doing her homework or chores, putting her toys away after use without being asked to do so. How about her manners? saying thank you to the waiter at the restaurant after eating, please can I have my TV time now, what about noticing how she fell at the gym even with little scratch she got, she still carried on. All of these features are what makes a child beautiful too. So, understanding that beauty comes in different forms is the key to raising a child that’ll thrive.
Dear intentional parents, what labels are you or other adults in your child’s life using for your child? Positive labels when used the right way can shape who your child becomes in the future so again, I encourage you to see beauty in other aspect of your children’s live, notice it, say it to them and by so doing, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, it becomes natural for them to take to adulthood.
