Self-control in children is simply children’s ability to look beyond immediate gratification and have the ability to resist the temptations of today or in the moment. Children feel confident when they have self-control. A self-controlled child is a child who is able to control their emotions, thoughts as well as behaviours to achieve their set goals.
Overspending
This is where children impulsively spend money. It is where you’ll see children buy things they didn’t plan for or where children spend money without considering the consequences it’s going to have on them. For some children, impulsive spending can be when they’re gifted with money, the next minute, they’re thinking of what to buy or spend the money on. This reminds me of my son wanting to pick a certain set of toys at the shop on Saturday, this is same child I had a conversation with before we left the house that “mummy did not make budget for your toy today so, mummy will not get you a toy” he responded ok mummy only for him to set his eyes on Peppa pig set of toys and said mummy, I want this one, Children generally finds it difficult to wait because of lack of impulse control, this is happening because of children’s emotional and cognitive development and this is because children’s ability to think is not fully developed, the reason they make decisions based on their feelings in the moment. I’m sure you’ll agree with me that children live in the moment. My son wanting to get that toy at the shop was him living in the moment which will make him feel good even though he might not need it.
Over-eating
When children eat at the sight of food, eat because others are eating, oftentimes eat large quantities of food and eat even when they’re not hungry is a sign that your child lacks self-control. Children form this habit of overeating when they’re young, say around ages two, a child’s environment plays a significant role when it comes to over-eating. When children see their parents eating excessively or where parents just because they feel their child is skinny or wants a chubby child, may end up forcing the child to eat and when this practice occurs repeatedly in a child, it forms a habit of over-eating for the child.
Procrastination
This is where children fail to complete a task they have been asked to do even though they understand that it’s not a good idea. All that the child wants to do is relax, they want to watch TV, play games, chat with friends or just play. They do this by putting the important things behind and attend to things that are less important. Oftentimes children procrastinate when they don’t know or understand what they’re asked to do, or when they don’t have the ability to do the assigned task or when they lack the desire to do so.
Aggressive Behaviours
Aggressive behaviour for children could be physical such as (kicking, hitting, throwing, biting and scratching others) while emotional behaviours could be when a (child says things that are not true about others, yelling, name calling etc.). Relational behaviour can be shaming, making fun of others for their look or dress, intimidating others, forming a group etc. The major causes of aggression in children can be stress, frustration, trauma and anger, these are all signs of lack of self-control.
Excessive Screen Time
This is when a child wants to sit in front of the TV all day watching their favourite programs, cartoons, video games, and chatting with friends. The ability to hold back the urge of TV is always a challenge for them. Excessive screen time can also be when a child between the ages of 2 and 5-years of age spend over two hours daily on the screen.
Dear parents, there is no doubt that one of the vital skills your child needs to thrive in life is self-control so, I’ll suggest you use your day-to-day activities, interactions and life to teach your child self- control that they can take into adulthood.
