Golden, come on let’s go, its home time I said to him when I went to his class to pick him up after church. He was smiling, a bit reluctant, but eventually came out. Tradition demands I sign him off before leaving and usually, the register book is kept on the table just by the side of the door. It also happens that there were left overs fruit-shoot drinks for the children. While I was signing him off, he sighted the drinks, immediately grabbed one.
I asked him, Golden, is that drink for you? Can you drop it please? I want it mummy, he said. I asked again is the drink for Golden? But I want it, he replied and ran away, I had already finished signing him out. I took a deep breath at the same time asked myself what I should do. This child I’m talking about is very strong at the same time strong-willed.
I decided to go find him luckily for me, I found him and said, can I have the drink? He said no, shall we go count all the drinks and see how many drinks are left? He was looking at me with his funny face, I stretched forth my hand, he gave me his other hand then followed me. We counted all the drinks and can’t remember the numbers now.
I asked him who are these drinks for? He said for all of us and I added, is for next Sunday. If Golden drinks his own now what will Golden drink when all his friends are having theirs next week Sunday? There was no response from him. So, I said can Golden keep it now so Golden can have his special drink next week. He said but I want it.
At this point, I tried to get the drink off him, but he wouldn’t let me. The H.O.D of children department asked, does he want the drink? he can have it. I said to her, thank you ma, he’s had one already in class. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do and I did not want to force or bribe him. I just want him to willingly drop it. While I was thinking of what to do, suddenly my cousin passed with her less than a year-old baby and I knew he loves baby Zoe so much. With so much excitement, I said Golden see baby Zoe, with curiosity he said where’s she? She’s there, that way can I have the drink now? Immediately, he handed it over to me and ran to find baby Zoe.
Every time I preach parenting is hard work, this is one of those things that makes it hard. It took a lot from me not to yell, smack, bribe, threaten or even compare him with other children. While I’m thankful that baby Zoe rescued me, I would have as well made him face the consequences if that option didn’t surface because I know he’s strong-willed, he would have opened it himself to drink.
That means I’ll ensure or inform his teachers not to give him drink next week Sunday so he can learn that there’s consequence for his action. As much as I understand that his behaviour was age-appropriate, I still need to play my role as a parent by being firm. I could have allowed him the drink without anyone noticing, questioning me after all, I’m a children’s teacher too. I could have allowed him especially when the H.O.D said he could have it, but I understood the power of teaching him discipline early, the power of contentment, delay gratification and others.
Dear intentional parents, I understand that sometimes, being able to figure out a better approach to your child’s misbehaviour can be challenging but I’ll encourage you to think it through as long as is not an emergency because an intentional parent is a thinker and remember to be firm and don’t let your child get away with certain negative behaviours. Always know that you’re the one in charge not your child irrespective of their age. Love your child at the same time be firm.
